Oh, great, a double bed! Well, I kind of had a feeling it would turn out this way, like it was "expected" or something... That innkeeper seemed to think we were a married couple.
"~~~♪" As I stood frozen, staring at the double bed, I could hear Miss Al’s carefree humming from the bathroom. The bath was already prepared when we entered the room. That was considerate, but the innkeeper was obviously determined to get us into this room. If that was the case, we could've bargained a bit more, but oh well, nothing we could do now.
Regardless, Miss Al told me, “Please, go ahead,” but I replied, “You know, this is, well, um...ladies first,” a phrase I had learned after coming here, and I let her go in first. Honestly, my mind has been all over the place ever since I entered the room.
*Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump*...
My violent heartbeat wouldn't stop. Her naked body that I saw in the desert, the one that I touched through the towel, flashed in my mind.
(Could it be...is she inviting me?)
I even fantasized that much. In the world, there were many people who first made love, and then decided whether or not to become lovers. (Could it be...is Miss Al that type...?)
(No, no, that can't be. She is, for better or worse, 'innocent', I'm sure. Her agreement to stay in the same room is also out of consideration to not make me spend any more money.)
'Excuse me~'
While steamy and emitting a sweet aroma, Al came out of the bathroom in a bathrobe. Her fair skin was dyed the same cherry blossom color as her hair, and a gentle smile floated on her lips.
(She's...sexy!)
I couldn't help but be captivated. Did she wear panties under her bathrobe, or...? I couldn't help but fantasize, yet again.
'...What's wrong?'
She asked me, unaware that I was harboring such evil fantasies towards he. Indeed, this person was fundamentally innocent.
'Ah, no, it's nothing. Well, I'll go in too.'
'Yes, it felt soooo good.'
Despite my vague smile, she threw me a smile of her own like always as I went into the bathroom.
After bathing and wearing a bathrobe, I carried the basket of clothes that we had been wearing until just now, then came out of the bathroom. If I put this in the box near the entrance of the room, locked it, and left it, the inn staff would take it and do the laundry. I'd have them wash other things while I'm at it. Oh, just to clarify, I absolutely did not tamper with the clothes Miss Al was wearing just now, which were in the basket before bathing!
I put the laundry and the basket into the box, locked it, and returned to the room. Miss Al was already using exactly half of the bed, emitting soft snores.
(As I thought, it's "different". It's "not good"... )
Fortunately, there was a large sofa in the room, so I decided to sleep on it. The moment I turned off the light in the room and laid down on the sofa,
'Mister Kazuo⁉'
Miss Al, who I thought was sleeping, suddenly jerked up and turned her face toward me. The moonlight coming in through the gap in the curtain illuminated her wide-open eyes of surprise and the two hills bounced energetically under her bathrobe. So, she was "dozing off", not "sound asleep".
'What...are you doing?'
She kept staring at me from atop the bed as I replied,
'Oh, well, I'm going to sleep here, so Miss Al, you use the bed.'
'Why? It's such a big bed, you can sleep here too.'
As she spoke, she patted the empty space on the bed with her left hand.
'Well, you know, because...well, it's bad, right, in various ways...'"
Even so, I was a 'man.' Or rather, a 'male.' I wanted to embrace the beautiful woman in front of me, tear off her bathrobe, and behold her naked body once again. I wanted to touch her directly, not through a piece of cloth. I wanted to take off her panties, which I hesitated over the other day. And then...!... I was suppressing such 'desires' as I was speaking right now.
"What are you saying? At dinner, you were looking forward to sleeping in a soft, warm bed for the first time in a while, weren't you? And besides..."
Al paused for a moment, then continued in her calm voice.
"Besides, Mister Kazuo, you haven't laid down at all since we left the desert, have you?"
She was right. Indeed, while we were in the desert, we had slept together in a tent meant for one. But every night since then, I had let her sleep in the tent while I slept sitting by the fire. Actually, my back and hips were quite sore, and I was very fatigued.
"Aren't you opening a shop in the town market from tomorrow? It would be much worse if you wore yourself out before that, wouldn't it?"
She had gotten out of bed at some point, and walked towards me:
"So, Mister Kazuo, why don't we sleep in the bed? Otherwise, I'm going to sleep on the sofa, okay?"
She so playfully suggested with a mischievous expression, extending her left hand towards me with a gentle smile. I couldn't possibly let a girl sleep on the sofa while I monopolized a large bed. Hesitantly, I placed my right hand on her extended left. Before I could fully stand up, Miss Al, pulling my hand, led me to the bed. She was surprisingly strong. After letting go of my hand, she got into bed and moved to where she had been sleeping earlier.
"......"
As I hesitated to get into bed, Miss Al looked straight at me and patted the left half of the bed. Resigning myself - and feeling a bit happy deep down - I climbed into bed.
"Well, uh, goodnight..."
"Goodnight~"
In response to my awkward greeting, Al replied with a cheerful tone. Soon, the sound of her peaceful breathing reached my ears.
(She fell asleep so quickly!)
I almost blurted out. Could she fall asleep so easily in the same bed as a man?
(Is she trusting me, or does she not see me as a 'man,' or does she have a 'great spirit'...)
Anyway, I interpreted the situation in the way that best suited me and forcibly closed my eyes.
".......Please, please, forgive me...!"
(Eh?)
While I was drifting on the border of dream and reality, I thought I heard such a voice.
"Please, please forgive me...!"
Amidst ragged breathing, I heard such a voice. I had had the same experience a few days ago. I raised my upper body from the bed and looked down to my right. As I expected, there was Miss Al, tormented by some nightmare. Her beautiful face was twisted in agony, beads of sweat formed on her forehead, large tears flowed from her tightly closed eyes, and she writhed with her voluptuous body, pleading for forgiveness. The other day, I ended up sleeping while she was hugging me, but tonight would not go the same way. I placed my right hand on her shoulder and gently shook her as I called her name.
"Miss Al, Miss Al!"
With her ragged breathing, she faintly opened her eyes, aiming her unfocused gaze at me.
"I... Mister Kazuo...?"
"Yes, that's right, it's me, Kazuo."
"Ah..."
Looking relieved, Al shows a tear-streaked smile.
"Are you okay? You were having a pretty intense nightmare."
"Ah... I'm sorry. I woke you up, didn't I..."
She got up, her mood deflated.
"No, don't worry about it. Instead... here, let's have some water."
I got out of the bed and handed Miss Al a towel first. While she sat up and wiped her face, I filled a cup with water from the pitcher next to the bed and handed it to her.
"Thank you..."
Al thanked me and started drinking the water I had handed her, little by little. She sipped slowly but continuously without putting the cup down. Once she finished, she let out a small sigh. Even with that gloomy expression, she was still so beautiful, it was almost inappropriate to think that. In any case, soon it seemed like she had calmed down. So I decided to talk about what happened the other day.
"Um... This is a bit awkward to bring up, but you were having a nightmare the first time we met in the desert, too. You were constantly apologizing to someone."
"I see... I'm sorry. I've been nothing but a burden to you, Mister Kazuo. Even now, after telling you to get some rest in bed, I end up disturbing you... I feel so embarrassed..."
Miss Al looked down, sinking into her thoughts. I rushed to console her.
"No, that's not a problem at all. Don't worry about it. More importantly... if you don't mind, could you tell me about it... as much as you can manage without it posing a problem?"
I was technically her "employer" and we were "companions" on this journey, so I had a responsibility to take care of her physical and mental health. That's why I felt the need to ask.
"...I have... very scary dreams."
After seeming to hesitate for a moment, Al starts to speak in a whisper.
"When I was around 12 or 13, I was being chased around by a crowd of people, being cursed at and having rocks thrown at me... Or sometimes I'd be in the middle of a place full of blood, screams, and tears, laughing maniacally... I must have done so many terrible things to so many people..."
She paused, then continued as if she was squeezing the words out.
"Probably... including murder."
"!"
I gasped involuntarily. There was no way she was a murderer! As I sat there lost for words, she looked at me with a sad expression.
"It's scary, isn't it? It's eerie, isn't it? A woman like me, whose true nature is unknown..."
I shook my head frantically and spoke.
"No, that's not true at all! And besides, there's no way you're a murderer, Miss Al!"
I ended up speaking louder than I intended. She was surprised by the sudden change in my tone, and looked at me with a puzzled expression. I continued speaking.
"Do you remember what happened this afternoon? When we met at the fountain... At that time, you were watching some little kids playing from a distance, right? Your face at that moment was very calm and gentle, like, well, a... 'mother'."
"..."
Al opened her eyes wide for a moment, then looked down. The room was dimly lit and it was hard to tell, but her cheeks seemed to be flushed.
"Then, when the little sister fell, you were ready to rush to her immediately, right? At that moment, I really thought 'what a kind person she is'. I can't imagine such a kind person killing anyone. But let's say, everyone has someone they can't forgive or someone they hate, right? Maybe it's just a dream about killing those people, I think everyone has one of those. Because you're in a state of memory loss now, I think you're getting your fantasies and reality mixed up, surely!"
In fact, I've also killed "them" many times over in my fantasies. With merciless 'instant deaths', and over time, carefully, thoroughly and overwhelmingly...!
Ah, my fantasies are irrelevant right now. Right now, it's much more important to calm her down.
"Well, even if you really did terrible things, I wonder if they were really done out of your own will."
"What do...you mean?"
I continued to explain to Miss Al, who was looking puzzled.
"In my country, sometimes there is a strange phenomenon called 'fox possession'."
"Fox, as in...the animal?"
"Yes. Of course, there are monsters in Hinomoto, but it's said that foxes that have lived for a certain period of time become monsters with powerful mystic powers. And, they use that power to do various bad things. One of them is to possess and control humans. There's an old tale about a woman who was possessed by a fox, became a lord's mistress, tricked the lord into doing terrible things, and almost destroyed the country."
"... "
She kept looking straight at me, listening. I continued.
"But that woman, before she was possessed by the fox, was kind to everyone, very gentle, and very pure. It's said that her purity might have been the cause of her possession by the fox. Just before I left my country, there was a case of fox possession in a region about two mountains away. That person was also usually very quiet and kind."
Continuing to look at her, who was still staring at me, I took it further.
"I'm totally an amateur in this field, but perhaps you were also possessed by something? Maybe your kindness or purity attracted some powerful being that wanted to exploit it, like a monster. Even if you really did a lot of bad things, it's surely the work of the entity that possessed you, not you! So, well... umm... don't worry about it, no, that's not quite right... umm, well... "
And then I went and found no encouraging words to end my little speech. Ah, how poor is my vocabulary!
She kept staring at me, but after a moment, she gave me a warm smile:
"Thank you. You're very kind, Mister Kazuo. I feel somewhat cheered up!"
"Um, well, maybe we should sleep soon? We have a busy day tomorrow."
Feeling a tingling in my cheeks and chest, I took the glass from her and suggested we lie down. I took a drink of water as well. The cool water seeped into my dry mouth, throat, and inner chest.
"Well, goodnight."
"Yes, goodnight."
Crawling into bed and calling out, she responded in a calm tone. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.
However, after a while, a questioning voice came into my right ear:
"Um... Mister Kazuo, are you awake...?"
Since I was not yet asleep, I turned my face towards her.
"Hm, what's up, Miss Al?"
"Um... I know it's very presumptuous but..."
"Yes?"
She didn't seem ready to continue. For a second I thought perhaps she would say: "I prefer you sleep on the sofa." And I was prepared for that, but then...
"...May I hold your hand...?"
Miss Al was staring up at me from under her eyebrows, half her face buried in the comforter. Seeing such an expression, reminiscent of a scolded child pleading for something...
"Ah, yeah, sure."
I reached out my right hand, palm facing up, under the comforter towards her.
"Thank you...very much..."
Her left hand cautiously approached my right hand, and then they met. And her slim, supple fingers gently interlaced with mine.
(...!)
I was quite surprised. I had expected her four fingers, excluding her thumb, to lay beneath my little finger. But this way of holding hands...! At the same time, I was aware of the sensation of her hand on my palm and fingers.
(What a small, soft, and cool hand she has...!)
"Hehe..."
"Eh, hm, what? What's the matter?"
She suddenly laughed, startling me.
"Your hand, Mister Kazuo... It's big, sturdy... and warm!"
"!"
I was surprised and a bit embarrassed to hear her say exactly the opposite of what I was thinking. To hide my embarrassment, I replied:
"Really? It's rough and rugged, isn't it? Doesn't it feel unpleasant?"
"No way! After all, isn't it the hand of someone who works hard every day? I like it."
"!"
(She didn't mean "like" in "that" way! Not "that"...!)
Did she realize the destructive power - no, the lethal power - of the word "like" coming from her beautiful lips? As was only natural, my face had turned bright red and I was painfully aware of it, so I turned it away from her, and repeated myself:
"Ah, tomorrow is going to be a busy day. We should sleep!"
"Yes, goodnight."
She replied with the same response as before. Without much delay, the same gentle snoring sounds could be heard. In a way, being able to fall asleep so easily was a talent.
(Miss Al, huh...)
As I watched her peaceful sleeping face out of the corner of my eye, I whispered her name to myself. Miss Al, who watched the children with a kind, warm gaze. Miss Al, who tried to help a fallen child, but ended up falling dramatically herself. Miss Al, who looked lonely in the church when she couldn't find any clues about her memory. Miss Al, who peeked out from behind the curtain of the changing room. Miss Al, who listened to my stories in the cafeteria with sparkling eyes. Miss Al, who grimaced at the sight of a carrot. Miss Al, fresh from a bath. Miss Al, tormented by nightmares. Miss Al, who smiled at me--. In just one day, I felt like I had seen many different sides of her.
("I'm sorry"... "Forgive me"... What could she mean...?)
Still, I couldn’t help but think about it. Was she expressing how she was reaching her limits to the people who insulted her, threw stones at her, and chased her away, saying "I can't take any more!"? Or, was she apologizing to the many people she had done terrible things to?
(Either way, at least for the duration of this trip, I want to help her avoid having scary dreams...)
As I thought about this, I gradually became sleepy. I had to work hard tomorrow.
(Goodnight, Miss Al.)
In my heart, I said goodnight, and added just a little strength to my right hand holding her left hand.
Her hand was warm.
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